Consistency

I've been trying to think of a catchy introduction to this topic and have come up blank so I'll jut dive in and see what develops.  I want to talk about consistency.   Moms want their kids to mind them.  Kids need to know their parents say what they mean.  The key to both is being consistent.  So, no exaggerations, no threats, no promises you don't intend to keep.  You may WANT to ground your teenager for the rest of her life but obviously, that isn't going to happen.  And definitely, no threats about their life!   Keep consequences appropriate to the misbehavior.  Try being reasonable and then follow through as necessary.  If you say you're going to do something, then make sure you do it.  And, always be true to your word!

I'll go into this in more detail in another post...

Patience is a Virtue

On my refrigerator door there is a magnet that reads "Everything will be OK in the end.  If it's not OK, it's not the end."  I love that quote!  It reminds me that we all have trials and challenges  but that's just part of life.  If we have patience, we will get through whatever comes our way, although it may not seem like it at the time.  The baby will (eventually) sleep through the night.  The toddler will be toilet trained.  The child will learn how to read.  If we can do something about a situation, of course we should do all we can to solve the problem.  If it's beyond our control, then we have the opportunity to practice the art of patience.  We will have many of those opportunities as we raise our children!

Discipline

Everyone wants well behaved, well disciplined children.  A look at a library or bookstore yields a wide variety of books on the subject.  But what those books rarely cover is that in order to discipline children effectively, a mom first needs to have self-discipline.  Children watch closely and mimic how their mom reacts and deals with everyday situations.   When a mom spanks her child for hitting another child, what message is she sending?  When a mom yells at her child, should she be surprised when her child yells back at her?  If there is swearing at home, she shouldn't be embarrassed by her child's language.  Sure, it can be frustrating or even difficult to control emotions when tired or angry but if we can't do it, how can we expect anything different from our kids?  We are supposed to be the adults in this relationship.  Our children get angry, frustrated and tired too.  We are the ones who show, by our example, how to respond to negative feelings.

 It is well worth the effort to learn to control your emotions.  Showing anger doesn't help children behave better.  It doesn't make the problem go away.  In fact, it usually makes it worse.    Mom's often employ the use of the time-out for misbehaving children...maybe Mom needs a time-out occasionally too!  Give yourself a quick moment to calm yourself before you deal with a problem.  Act on it but don't react, or worse, over-react!  Your children will respond quicker and have more respect for you if you do.  It might take time but every effort in the right direction gets you closer to making it a habit.

What have I gotten myself into?

My first child was born during finals week of my senior year of college.  Having a major in Child Development and Family Relations, you'd think I would be confident and well prepared!  Wrong!  When the nurse put that squalling little bundle in my arms, my first reaction was panic.  What had I gotten myself into?  I felt totally clueless!  How should I hold her?  How do I feed her?  How do I change her diaper?  How do I stop her crying? 

I remember holding baby in the rocking chair in the middle of the night, and both of us were crying.   Obviously I had some learning to do and I better do it fast!  This little baby was depending on me to be her mother and to do a good job of it too.  I couldn't let her (or her future siblings) down.

That was my first inkling that being a mom wasn't going to easy.  But if college taught me one thing, it was how to research and find answers.  My education was just beginning...

Why a blog?

Why did I decide to write a blog?  Well, that's an interesting story.  With my youngest daughter going off to college, I found myself faced with being an empty nester.  All of a sudden, people started asking me, "So what are your plans now?"  "What are you going to do with all that free time?"  And I realized that I didn't have a good answer.  I started thinking of different options, like going to work, going back to school, taking up a hobby, doing volunteer work.  Nothing sounded right.  Then, the inspiration hit...in a round-about manner.  The day after my birthday, I was talking with an acquaintance and she asked me the same question.  I told her that if I had the money, I'd go back to school to get my Masters in psychology so I could be a family counselor.  She said I should consider being a Life Coach.  I'd never heard of that so I hopped on my trusty computer and Googled Life Coach.  It sounded interesting but not quite what I had in mind...I want to be a Mom Coach. That's it!  A Mom Coach!

To be continued...