Shared beliefs

I was sitting in church this morning and as I looked around at the congregation, I realized that I probably wouldn't know any of these people if it wasn't for our shared religious beliefs.  Some of my favorite people in the whole world are those I attend church with.  My children's best friends were also members of our church and all of them married young men and women who shared the same beliefs. 

Belonging to a church (aside from the spiritual benefits) is an excellent way to connect with people who believe as you do.  The other mothers you meet are probably going through the same challenges you are going through and because your values and standards are similar, it's easy to relate to them and empathize with their difficulties.  I can't think of another institution or group that provides such an almost instant connection. 

Meeting and being friends with people of varied backgrounds, ages, cultures and values is important for us and our children to learn tolerance and an understanding of different lifestyles.   But being actively involved in church provides us with a built in support group of like-minded women and children who will help strengthen our resolve to be better women and mothers. 

Kindness begins with me

Yesterday at church there was a lesson on the power of kindness.  After the meeting, I was talking with a group of people and we were discussing the lesson.  Someone said that he felt people use kindness as a way of manipulating others to their point of view.  HE'S MISSING THE POINT!  Kindness isn't about how others treat you.  It's about how you treat others!   When you try to guess the motive for someone else's behavior you are putting your own prejudices and assumptions into the mix and distorting their motive and intent.   It's no wonder people have problems with communication!  Let's not worry about why other people are saying or doing something.  Let's just focus on our own behavior.

There is a cute little children's song that tells the point simply and beautifully.  It goes -
I want to be kind to everyone for that is right you see.
So I say to myself, remember this
Kindness begins with me.

Saturday is a special day...

I often have a song running through my head (does anyone else have that?) and this morning I woke up and my brain was singing a children's favorite, "Saturday is a special day. It's the day we get ready for Sunday."  So, I thought, why not?  I'll talk about Saturday!

Most families have at least a block of time together on Saturday and what better use of that time than to work together and make your home beautiful, catch up with laundry and other chores, and see that your kitchen is full of good things to eat.  If everyone works together, the jobs don't have to take all day.  It's nice to set aside one day a week to take care of all those pesky little tasks and be able to start a new week, fresh and ready to take on the world.

So, rise and shine!  The day has begun and if you hurry, you'll have time to do something fun this afternoon to reward your family for all their help and cooperation  :)  (I can dream, can't I?)

Surviving kids at church

Going to church should be a a time of peace and renewal.  Believe it or not, it is possible even if you have children.  Maybe not all the time (because everyone has a bad day once in a while, even on Sunday) but most of the time.  There are a number of things you can do to increase the odds of actually being able to sit through a church meeting AND get something out of it.

1. Prepare the night before by making sure everyone has their bath and has clean clothes laid out ready to wear the next day.
2. Give your family plenty of time to get ready...that includes breakfast.
3. Try to get to church a few minutes early.  Rushing creates stress and you haven't even gotten to church yet!
4. Make your expectations clear that there are certain behaviors that you will not allow  and make sure they know just what those expectations are.
5. No food during the meeting.  This is the number one rule!  Even very young children can go an hour or two without having to eat snacks.  If they know there will be no treats, they won't be nagging all through the meeting for their Cheerios or Goldfish crackers.  And they won't be making a mess for you or someone else to clean up.
6. Bring a few quiet books and/or coloring books and crayons for your kids to play with.  Have a bag packed with things that are only available to the kids during church.
7. When kids cry or are distracting, quietly remove them from the room and sit with them in an empty room until they are ready to return to the meeting.  Don't make it a fun time for them or you are actually rewarding them for acting up.
8. Don't worry if your child yells at you while you are carrying him out.  The other parents in the congregation understand what you are going through and sympathize :)   Remain calm and in control.
9. Reward good behavior.
10. Remember this is a learning process for your child.  Children aren't naturally quiet and they will need to be trained how to behave appropriately.
11. Be consistent!

With some time and effort on your part, it should be possible for you and your entire family to have an enjoyable time at church.  The last thing you want is for Sunday to be a day looked forward to with dread by you or your children.  Don't give up!