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Friday, January 27, 2012


Everyone wants well behaved, well disciplined children.  A look at a library or bookstore yields a wide variety of books on the subject.  But what those books rarely cover is that in order to discipline children effectively, a mom first needs to have self-discipline.  Children watch closely and mimic how their mom reacts and deals with everyday situations.   When a mom spanks her child for hitting another child, what message is she sending?  When a mom yells at her child, should she be surprised when her child yells back at her?  If there is swearing at home, she shouldn't be embarrassed by her child's language.  Sure, it can be frustrating or even difficult to control emotions when tired or angry but if we can't do it, how can we expect anything different from our kids?  We are supposed to be the adults in this relationship.  Our children get angry, frustrated and tired too.  We are the ones who show, by our example, how to respond to negative feelings.

 It is well worth the effort to learn to control your emotions.  Showing anger doesn't help children behave better.  It doesn't make the problem go away.  In fact, it usually makes it worse.    Mom's often employ the use of the time-out for misbehaving children...maybe Mom needs a time-out occasionally too!  Give yourself a quick moment to calm yourself before you deal with a problem.  Act on it but don't react, or worse, over-react!  Your children will respond quicker and have more respect for you if you do.  It might take time but every effort in the right direction gets you closer to making it a habit.


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