Thrifty Thursday - My kid needs braces!

Even with braces, I think she's adorable  :)

It might seem incongruous to write a post about something expensive on Thrifty Thursday but stay with me.  Being frugal and saving money isn't about ignoring things that are important, but using your limited resources wisely.

It might be obvious that your child needs braces or it might not be so obvious.  But one thing is sure...it's a pretty normal part of being a preteen and/or teenager.  And it's not just about crooked teeth.  It's about being able to floss and brush her teeth so as to cut down on present and future tooth decay and other dental problems.  It's about being able to chew and swallow properly.  It's about her self esteem, confidence and relationships with her peers.

More and more, dentists are recommending starting orthodontic treatment at a young age but if you can't manage to start your child early, she won't be alone if  she starts when she's a teenager.  Most of my children started treatment when they were 10 to 12 but my youngest didn't start until she was nearly 15, because of financial issues at the time.  Still, by the time she graduated from high school, she had completed treatment and had a beautiful, healthy smile.

The big day finally arrived for the braces to come off!

If you think (or your dentist thinks) that braces are in your child's future, explore your options.  Often, insurance covers fifty percent of treatment.  Even without insurance orthodontists almost always offer a payment plan that works with your ability to pay or there might be a dental school nearby that has discount prices in their clinic.  It never hurts to ask. 

Totally worth it!

I never considered orthodontia to be a frivolous or unnecessary expense or luxury.  To me it is an investment in my children's future.  After all, they couldn't help it that they inherited my husband's and my lousy genes.  :)

What do you call your mother-in-law?

When you got married, you became part of your husband's family and he yours.  And right away you are faced with one of the most awkward decisions of your new life together...what do you call your new mother and father-in-law.

It doesn't seem like it should be such a big deal but for some reason, it is.  If your new in-laws have a definite preference, it may still be awkward but at least you know what to call them.  The problem arises when they are so sweet and say, "Whatever you want to call us is fine with us dear."  And you wonder, "Is this a trap?  Is this a test?  Is there a right or wrong answer?"  Most likely they are as kind and agreeable as they appear to be and are fine with whatever you call them (within reason, of course!).  But when you are young and new to the family, you want to make a good impression.

My own mother-in-law was one of the genuinely nice ones who said she didn't care what I called her.  Even so, I struggled.  Calling her Mom just didn't seem right.  I was close to my own mom and hadn't developed a relationship with my husband's mother yet so it almost felt disloyal to call someone else mother.  Calling her by her first name seemed too familiar.  After all, she was the matriarch of her home and mother of my husband.  A nickname seemed to...stupid... so I took the chicken's way out.  I didn't address her directly by name for a long, long, time.  I am ashamed now that I didn't just call her by her name.

I am now in the mother-in-law's shoes.  I have four sons-in-law and three daughters-in-law. My husband told each one, "Just call me Dan." and that was that.  I did what my own mother-in-law did and told them that I didn't care what they called me.  And it's true, I really don't have a preference.  My sons-in-law all call me Mom and have been comfortable from the start calling me that.  My daughters-in-law seem a little more conflicted.  One calls me Laura and the other two call me Mom.  I'm fine with either name.  I feel bad for them because I know it's hard to come up with a name for the mother-in-law.  After all, it might be a test!  :)

Tidy Tuesday - Encourage independence

Imagine living in a world of giants and being their housekeeper.   The furniture is too tall, the tools are too big and awkward, the drawers too heavy to open.  Everything is designed to fit your basic giant.  I am describing the conditions your preschoolers and young children live with every day.  Not that they are your housekeepers!  But you do expect them to do certain age-appropriate chores and keep their rooms clean and belongings picked up.

If you look at the world from their view, you might find things you can do to make their lives easier.  By doing so, you are helping them to be less dependent on you.  Take the simple step-stool.  My husband made a sturdy step-stool for our oldest when she was about three and all of a sudden, she could wash her own hands by herself, go to the bathroom without a kiddy potty, and of course, get into things she shouldn't.  :)  All my children used that step-stool (which we named Mr. Step-Stool), and I still use it to reach high places. 

What other things can you do to foster independence for your little ones?

What about making their bed?  Could you lower the bed frame or even put the mattress on the floor?  Have you considered exchanging regular blankets and bedspreads for duvets (or comforters) and covers?  They eliminate the need for a top sheet and make bed-making super easy.  Covers can either be bought or made and can instantly change the look of the room for very little money.

How about their clothes storage?  Is the clothing rod hung too high?  Lowering it is easy and allows your children to hang up their own clothes.  Or even more simple...install a row of low hooks along a wall or in the closet and your child can just hang most clothes on hooks. 

Are dresser drawers too high or too heavy?  Try using plastic storage containers for holding clothes.  The containers can either go under the bed or stored on low shelves.

Toys should have their own place (preferably not a toy chest) and be easy to toss toys into.  Again, plastic storage containers are perfect for sorting and storing toys.  Label them well and encourage keeping like items together, although just getting them off the floor might be good enough!

Whatever you can do to make your children's life easier is totally worth it.  They might still drag their feet when told to do something, but at least you have made it possible for them to do it easily.  Try looking at the world from their vantage point and I think you'll find things you can do to that will make living in a giant's world less frustrating.

Changing roles

Oh, how they grow!

I was thinking today how our role as mother changes as our kids grow and change.  When our kids are little, we love them and take care of all their needs, make and enforce the rules and are the main authority figure in their lives.  We protect them and keep them safe from harm.  As they get older, gradually our role changes as they learn to take care of a growing number of their own needs, internalize the rules and interact with other authority figures.  We start to realize that we cannot protect them from everything as they venture out into the world but we trust that our teachings while they were little will be remembered and they will be smart.  They still need us but in different ways.  They need us to be consistent and fair.  They need us to give them advice (although they might not admit it!).  They need to know that we will always be there for them and that we will always love them unconditionally.

I can't think of a more fulfilling career than that of mother.

Strife

When I first saw this poster, it immediately struck a chord with me.  Life is all about strife.  There is no getting around it.  I know when you first get married, you think that you'll live happily ever after with your handsome prince and ride off into the sunset.  Yes, it's still possible to live happily ever after with your handsome prince and ride off into the sunset but your car might break down on the way or any of a million different things might happen.  If you realize that having problems, stress and strife is normal, it won't destroy your concept of marriage.  Marriage is full of challenges but together with your husband, you can accomplish great things.

Thank you despair.com for the poster :)  It's framed and hung on my bedroom wall.

Lilly's treasures

Lilly (age 3) spent the afternoon with me today and she insisted on bringing her pink pumpkin bucket filled with her treasures.  It was really cute to see what she kept as her treasures, including a necklace, a pair of sparkly shoes, a flashlight, hairbows, a yellow crayon, a hat, a paintbrush and this cute couple...Darth Vader Lego and Sleeping Beauty Lego (minus her skirt).  :)  So Lilly!

What a cute couple they make!

Bad habits/Good habits

This is a GOOD habit!  :)

Why is it that bad habits are so hard to break and good habits are so hard to keep?  I was thinking of that this morning as I was exercising at the gym...for the first time in months.  I know exercising and physical activity are good for me, yet I find ways to put them off and make excuses.  I think I came up with a possible answer though.

My husband teaches at a local university and his schedule changes every eight weeks.  Some of his  classes are on campus and some are online.  Because of his weird schedule (or lack therof) he's often home during the day.  Now, I do best with a routine and at least a little structure in my day and when he is home, I get totally thrown off.  Not because of anything he does or doesn't do but just because he's there and I want to be available if he needs me for something.

So, last night I told him that I was going to the gym this morning at 9:30 am and he was welcome to join me but I was going.  What a shock!  We were both in the car by 9:30 am and we both got some good exercise in and it felt good.

What I learned (ok, I already knew these things but they were reinforced this morning)...Structure and routine are our friends.  Our bodies naturally function by an internal clock and we can use that to our advantage.  We have control over the choices we make.  We don't have to make excuses.   We can break bad habits by changing our thought patterns, making a plan and sticking to it...even if it's just for today.