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Friday, October 5, 2012

"How to have a new husband by Friday"

While walking through a bookstore yesterday, a title jumped out at me.  It was something like, "How to have a new husband by Friday."  Catchy title, huh?  Now, I didn't buy the book nor did I scan through it so I don't know what it's all about but the title got me thinking.  What if the title had read, "How to have a new wife by Friday."?  I think there would be a strong backlash against such an offensive title, yet most people don't think twice about the opposite idea.

Sometimes I feel sorry for our husbands.  Most try their best and get little credit for their effort.  Rarely do they have a support group of other husbands to bounce off their frustrations.  There are few books available to address the difficulties they have to go through as husbands (of course, I don't think many men read self-help books anyway but then again, I'm stereotyping so, who knows?) 

The truth of the matter is, if you want to change your husband, you have to change yourself.  You cannot change another person but you CAN influence him by changing the way YOU do things.  It's so much easier to complain about your spouse's weaknesses than acknowledge the weaknesses you have.  I am very much aware of the imperfections I have and yet I still haven't overcome them.  So, rather than focus on the things my husband does that drive me crazy, maybe I should concentrate on the things I do that drive HIM crazy.  Intriguing thought, isn't it? 


  1. But Mom, what if the 'How to have a new husband by Friday' book was really about changing your (the wife's) perspective? The title did its job by catching attention--how can a wife have a new husband in a week?

    Granted, I do think that it's funny that women need self-help books and men don't (stereotyping again), but it is generally an accepted technique to use a 'scandalous' title for a totally benign book... Looking at's summary of the book, it kind of takes the middle ground there--you're changing your husband by changing your behavior. So the book essentially was doing what you were talking about in your post! You and Kevin Leman apparently were on the same line of thought...

  2. "From Publishers Weekly
    Women who feel they need a Rosetta stone to interpret their husbands' behavior no longer have to be frustrated. Psychologist and media personality Leman channels his years of professional counseling experience into easy-to-follow, common sense advice for wives. While never placing blame on women for their husbands' poor behavior, the author does believe that wives can encourage their husbands to be better partners by altering some of their expectations. One expectation that should never be altered, however, is that of mutual respect. Leman does not mince words about what to do with men who continually disrespect their wives—dump the chump is his advice. Specific questions from wives are peppered throughout, followed by the author's sage feedback. Some may feel Leman puts too shiny an interpretation on the aspects of husbands' behavior that infuriate women the most by suggesting that men really do want to please their wives but are often clueless as to how to do this. A wife can only know for sure if she gives the author's five-day plan a try. (Oct.)
    Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. " ( review)

    1. Based on the reviews, I'd almost be interested in reading the book...

    2. Thank you David for finding out about the book and including a review!

    3. I guess it just goes to show that you shouldn't judge a book by its cover...

    4. But we do that every time we look at a book least initially. Why else would we pick up one book and not another? This one particular book title just got me thinking...

  3. Most offensive book title I always thought was "Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands". Book might not have been bad, I didn't read it, but I always felt like it made them sound like pets.