A different perspective

Each generation can learn from the previous one!

As a child, you watched your parents from the eyes of a child.  Now that you're a parent yourself, you might understand why your parents did the things they did.  That realization might come when you hear yourself sounding just like your mother or doing the same thing your father did.

Your parents were not perfect.  They made mistakes and had their own struggles.  You might not have been a perfect little angel yourself!  :)  But looking back, you can learn from their successes and even their failures.

I'd like to suggest you ask yourself two things.
1. In what ways were your parents successful in raising their children?
2. What don't you want to repeat as you raise your own children?

From my own experience, I can say that my mother was extremely patient and had a calm presence.  If she was stressed out, I didn't notice it (as a child).  She was active and involved in the family and community.  She didn't allow any swearing or crude language.

Less positive...my mother was somewhat indifferent to housekeeping.   Maybe because of that, I don't like clutter or messes.  Also, I wish religion had been more important to the family as I was growing up.

Doing this little two question exercise will help you identify traits and behaviors you want to pass on to your children and which things you want to change.  The good things your parents did should be implemented in your own home, while the things that didn't work out so well should be replaced with better methods.

Build on their successes and bury their shortcomings.  Learn from them!

  

One of those days!

Well, it's been one of those days.  Actually, it's been one of those weeks!  You know what I'm talking about...too much to do, to little time, add a crisis or two, can't sleep.  No matter how well you plan things, it seems like something comes up to ruin all those well-laid plans.

Today started out with me waking up about an hour later than I needed to...husband kindly turned off my alarm before he left for work at 4 am.  So when I woke up, I was already behind.  Not a great way to start the day!  And it didn't get any better.

Instead of freaking out though, I mentally thought about what HAD to be done today and focused on them, in order of importance.  Yes, the dishes needed to be done but they could wait.  Other things couldn't wait.  I finally got to the load of laundry that needed to be done this evening at 9 pm, but it did get done and that's what mattered.

It doesn't do any good to panic about things.  Do what you can, take care of the important stuff and look forward to the moment when you lay your head on your pillow, close your eyes and breathe a sigh of relief that the day is over.

Good night!

Principles and Practices

I've been thinking about principles and practices lately.  Isn't that a blunt way to start a post?  :)

Really though, knowing something and actually doing it are not the same thing...for our kids and for ourselves too.  Most of us recognize that the principles of patience, work, consistency, kindness and discipline are positive traits to have but it's quite another thing to practice some of those traits on a regular basis.  Doing so will make our lives easier and more fulfilling so why is it so hard to put into practice the things we know to be right?

I would say it's mostly habit that holds us back.  We're used to responding and reacting in a familiar way and it takes effort to change...even if it's exchanging a bad habit for a good one.   It's comfortable to leave things as they are.  Change is an unknown and most people aren't excited to delve into the unknown.

If you're having problems implementing good principles into your life as a mom, start out slow.  Take baby steps and work on one thing at a time.  Replace that old familiar (but ineffective) method of doing something and teach your brain to respond in a different manner.  Slow improvements are more likely to last than spectacular bursts of greatness that fizzle out just as quickly.  Remember the story of the Tortoise and the Hare?  Spoiler alert...the Tortoise wins.  :)

A boy bunny and a girl bunny make...

On the front page of my local newspaper, there was an article about a man who is creating a video game for children to "show kids message of love".  Sounds harmless, doesn't it?

Reading further, the motivation gets a little murky.  In the game, "cupid" shoots arrows at bunnies.  When a boy bunny and a girl bunny get hit, a new bunny appears (that's logical).  However, if two boy bunnies or two girl bunnies get hit, a rainbow appears and new bunnies start appearing in different colors.  The object of the game is to get the most rainbows.  Or in other words, to make as many boy/boy and girl/girl couplings.

My objections?  Two boy bunnies or two girl bunnies can't make baby bunnies and teaching little kids that they can, is just plain wrong.  Also, to "win" the game, the player is encouraged to make as many rainbow pairings as possible.  What does this teach young children?

I admit, my perspective comes from a traditional christian background.  Even then, I have taken enough classes in anatomy and biology to know that it takes a girl "bunny" and a boy"bunny" to make a baby "bunny".  I also believe that that configuration is the healthiest for the baby "bunny".  The male species and the female species each contain certain gender-based characteristics which compliment each other in creating a family. 

What is the world coming to?  Sigh...

Moving with little ones

In my first ten years of marriage, my family moved nine times.  These moves were due to my husband's job as a computer consultant and required moving from one end of the country to the other and places in between.  I learned a few things about moving with children!  :)

When you learn that you and your family are going to be moving, you usually have some time to prepare. However much time you have, don't delay!  You're going to need all the time you have!

First, start the process of paring down your belongings.  This includes furniture, clothes, books, toys, hobby supplies, everything!  Remember that everything you keep, you have to pack and move.  Ask yourself, "Do I really want to move that?"  "Can I replace it in our new area?"  Be ruthless!

While you're at it, start decluttering and organizing the possessions you WANT to keep.  Make sure everything you choose to keep has a home. 

If at all possible, buy a large supply of standard sized moving boxes, packing tape and Sharpie pens.  Boxes can be bought inexpensively at Home Depot and Lowes.  They are worth the cost and when you are through with them, you can knock them flat and store them or sell them on Craig's List to someone else who is moving. 

Tackle a few boxes at a time...starting with things that you or your family won't be using in the near future.  Label well on the top and at least one side of each box.  Color code according to room, using a different colored Sharpie or buying a pack of multi-colored duct tape.  A strip of bright pink tape across the top of a box leaves no confusion where that box is supposed to go.

Also when packing, don't fill large boxes with heavy items...unless you want your husband to get a hernia!  The smaller boxes are made for books and things like your cast iron pots and pans  :)  Save the large boxes for bulky, light things.

Designate a place in the house where packed boxes will be stacked.  As soon as a box is packed, take it to the designated place.  That keeps the rest of the house relatively normal.  :)

Try to do most your packing after the kids go to sleep at night, or during naptime or while they are at school.  The less you disrupt their normal routine, the less stressed they will be.  And because they are less stressed, you will be less stressed.

Obviously, pack the kid's belongings last and make sure they are the first things unloaded at your new house.

This is not the time to take on other projects or to work on fixing your child's new obnoxious habit.  That can wait.  Focus on the moving project.  Tell friends and other people "no" when they ask you to do something.  Don't make unnecessary appointments.

During the actual move, enlist the help of friends and/or family to watch your kids at their house.  It's chaotic enough without having kids underfoot.  Safer too!  If that isn't possible, set them up with movies, games, non-messy snacks and anything else that will entertain them...preferably in a part of the house that is relatively out of the way.  But, don't forget to keep a close eye on them!

Moving is definitely stressful but it's also pretty exciting to move to a new house and new community.  You'll all have an opportunity to make new friends, explore your new area and set up a nice, clean, new (to you) house.  Try to keep a good attitude and things will go much better for everyone!  Repeat the phrase, "This is only temporary, this is only temporary..."  as often as you need to remain sane.  :)

Ultrasound magic :)

Is it a boy or a girl?!

It's a PUPPY! 

LOVE those early ultrasound pics!  :)

September means...

Finally got the chimney repaired! 

Today is the first day of September and that means fall is fast approaching.  The days are already starting to shorten, there is a crispness in the early morning air, and the first dry leaves are starting to carpet the trail near my home.

There is a sense of urgency to take care of projects while the weather is still warm and dry.  Do you get that feeling also?   Now is the time to get the yard ready for winter.  If you have outdoor painting projects, better get them started!  Gather all the kid toys strewn around the yard, clean them and store them until next spring...same with garden tools, equipment and outdoor furniture.  Harvest the rest of your garden veggies.  Any home repairs that need doing?  Don't put them off!  How are the tires on your car?  If worn, replace them before you realize you have no traction during a rainstorm!  (That happened to me last week during our first big storm of the season...not fun!)

Although we still have a month or so (if we're lucky!), it's much less stressful taking care of these things now instead of waiting until it's cold and nasty out.  Have fun!