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Thursday, March 6, 2014

Are you active or passive?

The beginning of a lifetime of adventures!
The word parent can be used as either a noun or a verb.  So, my thought question today is, "Are you a parent who is actively parenting or are you a parent who is passively parenting?"

A parent who actively parents their children...
1. teaches them how to behave acceptably around other people (children and adults).
2. disciplines appropriately when needed.
3. accepts responsibility for their children's actions.
4. is involved in their children's activities (but in a supervisory role, not "taking over")
5. knows who their children's friends are.
6. trains them how to contribute to the home as appropriate for their ages (chores, meal prep, self-care).
7. sets up a routine and structure for each day.
8. believes in letting children experience consequences. 

A parent who passively parents their children...
1. let's them do whatever they want.
2. does not discipline them.
3. does not accept responsibility for their children's misbehavior.
4. has the belief that children will learn what they are supposed to if left to themselves.
5. has no structure or routine.
6. does not let children experience the consequences of their behavior.

I think you can see that I'm painting a picture that being passive is not in a child's best interests.  How can children learn what is right are what is wrong if they aren't taught?  How can they learn what is acceptable in society?  How can they make informed decisions without the "informed" part?  We are their parents.  Supposedly we have experience and knowledge to pass on down to the next generation.  Our children need that direction and guidance.  They won't be prepared for adulthood if they spend their entire childhood thinking that they can do whatever they want, whenever they want, regardless of how it affects others.

If you have children, you and nobody else is responsible for their welfare.  It's a full time job but immensely satisfying.  Don't sit passively but take an active part in your children's upbringing.


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