Holiday Stress - Part 4 - Shopping

Unless you are super organized and bought all your Christmas gifts during the year, carefully choosing each item especially for a particular person and getting it on sale (of course), you are faced with one of the most common stresses of the holidays.  I'm talking about fighting the crowds, finding what you want sold out, and not being able to figure out what to buy at all.  I know, you were planning on doing things differently this year but somehow here you are and it's less than a month before Christmas.

Well, it's no use wishing you had more time.  What you need to do is sit down (real soon!), make a list of the people you need to buy gifts for and make a plan.

This is why you don't take children shopping with you  :)

There are better times to go shopping than in the middle of the day on Saturday.  Luckily, most stores have extended hours in the month before Christmas so use that to your advantage.  The best times to shop are early in the morning or late at night.  And you DON'T want to take your kids with you!  Trade babysitting with another mother or have your husband sit with the children.  This is a must!

Did you remember to bring your list?  Do you have your credit card or money?  Can't forget that!

Even if it's freezing cold outside, leave your coat in the car.  It gets hot really quick inside stores.  That's one of the things I dislike about Winter...you dress warmly for outdoors and then are hot when you get inside.  Oh well, you don't want to carry your coat around.  Being a little cold between car and store is not a big deal.

Stick with your list.  It's easy to get sidetracked when you see all the glittery, sparkly displays but try to remember what you are there for.

Maintain self control.  Too many people are rude and inconsiderate this time of year.  You don't have to take it personally.

Treat the sales clerks with respect.  They have a tough job, low wages, lousy hours and they have to deal with all those rude people every time they work.  Make their day a little easier by being polite and making sure to thank him or her.

Above all, breathe deep and remember that everything is going to be fine.  Even if you can't find that sweater in the right size, life will go on.  Christmas is about much more than gift giving or gift getting and when you stress out so much on shopping, you don't have room to enjoy the beauty of the season, and the love of family and friends.

Good luck with that shopping!  And if all else fails, shop on the internet  :)

What's cooking? Wednesday - Cheater's Chili

Cheater's Chili

I admit.  I'm a cheater.  Whenever I make chili from scratch, it turns out really bland (I'm not that good with adding spices) so I cheat.  I open a can or two of chili and use it as a base for a large batch of chili.  Canned chili is really high in sodium and tastes too strong anyway.

 Tonight I made chili for eight people so I used two cans of Nalley's Chili, a quart size freezer bag of pinto beans (I made those from scratch so does that count as homemade?), one half pound of ground beef, one small onion and a bag of frozen diced tomatoes.  You can add anything else you want, such as corn or olives or omit the ground beef.    

Cheater's Chili (for 8-9 people)

2  15 oz. cans chili (any brand)
1/2 pound ground beef (optional)
4 c. cooked pinto beans
1  15 oz. can diced tomatoes
1 small onion, chopped fine

In large pot, cook ground beef and onion until brown and crumbly.  Add  rest of the ingredients and cook on low for 10-20 minutes.
To serve, put a handful of tortilla chips in a bowl.  Put on a cup or two of chili.  Top with grated cheddar cheese and/or sour cream.


Super easy! 

Holiday stress - Part 3 - I WANT!

I was visiting with four and a half year old Chuck and he told me what he wants for Christmas.  He wants an iPad and a chainsaw.  :)  The iPad is a definite NO and unless Fisher Price makes a real working chainsaw, I think he's going to be disappointed.

Our children are bombarded with commercials and advertising telling them what they should want.  Those commercials are very enticing and our children are not immune to their allure.  They are also influenced by the movies and TV shows they watch and things the people around them have.  They are led to believe that they can ask for anything and see it under the tree on Christmas morning.  Yes, they can ASK for anything, but they need to know that they might not GET everything they want.

So, what do you do when you know your child isn't going to get what he says he wants on Christmas?
It depends on the age.  In Chuck's case, he's too young to get the "We can't afford it" or the "There's no way in heck you're getting that!" explanation.  Keep your explanation simple and short.  You can say that real chainsaws can only be used by people who are at least 14 (or whatever age you want) so you're sorry but he's going to have to wait on that one.  As for the iPad, you can remind him that Daddy already has one and he can still use it.  You can go with him to a store and carefully direct him to toys you think are appropriate and talk them up.  You can as him for other suggestions.

For older kids, I think it's ok to be upfront and let them know that you have a budget that you need to stick to.  You can say, "I know you're 16 and you want your own car for Christmas but it's just not going to happen.  We are keeping our gift purchases for you kids to $------ this year."

Be careful about substituting a knock-off product for the real thing.  If your child really wants an American Girl doll (and knows exactly which one she wants), she might not be happy with the imitation doll from Walmart.  Again, be upfront with your kids.  If the budget won't allow certain gifts, help your child come up with something more reasonable.

I don't think it's ever too soon to introduce children to the idea that they can't just make a wish list and expect someone (Santa, Daddy, or whoever) to come up with everything on it.  Start now and try to turn the focus away from what they get to what they can give.   

Holiday stress - Part 2 - Traditions

If you were to spend the holidays with a family in China or Germany, you would expect the customs and traditions to be different than what you are used to.  You would be respectful of those customs and try to blend in.  Well, here's a surprise for you...every family has it's own culture and traditions.  Even if your husband grew up in the house next door, you'd soon find out that his family does things differently that yours does.  At no time is this more evident that during the holidays.

My advice to you?  Relax and don't try to change them.  You may think they're weird (and they may be) but it's probably best not to voice that opinion  :)  Maybe you don't even like them.  That's ok.  You don't have to.  But you DO have to be pleasant and cordial when you get together with them.  You are talking about the family your husband grew up with and loves.  It's not going to hurt you to participate in your in-law's holiday traditions.  What you will be doing is being supportive of your husband and building a relationship with his family.  And his family is YOUR family.

There is plenty of time to develop your own traditions within the walls of your own little home.  Take the favorite traditions of both families, incorporate them and build on them and you will have your own unique family traditions that your children will love and look forward to. 

Holiday Stress - Part 1

Christmastime is coming and you know what that means...love, happiness, joy...and tension, stress and frustration.  That's right.  Holidays have a habit of bringing out some of the more negative emotions we all have.  In the quest to produce the perfect holiday, we tend to get carried away with things that don't matter at the expense of things that are important.

How can you reduce tension and stress during the holiday season?

1. Reduce your expectations.  The table doesn't need a perfect centerpiece and the tree doesn't have to color coordinate to make an enjoyable get together.
2. Accept the things you can't change.  You have no control over the weather, illness and other unexpected situations.  Make sure you have a Plan B in case your original plans fall through.
3. Laugh.  When you realize you forgot to put a main ingredient in the showcase dessert, it does no good to get mad. Learn to laugh at your (and others) mistakes.  Laughter can lighten the darkest mood.
4. Serve others.  Instead of focusing on the difficult things in your life, find ways to help someone in need.  Encourage your children to do the same.
5. Remember the reason for the season.  What are you celebrating? Keep that the main focus of your holiday.
6. Be thankful.  No matter how humble your circumstances, you have much to be thankful for.  Count your blessings every time you feel down.  Never forget how much you have. 

Playing games with kids

Have you ever tried playing Monopoly with a six and ten year old?  Even in the best of circumstances, Monopoly is a long, sometimes boring game.  Take a couple of kids with short attention spans (who really want to play the game) and you have the potential for a looooong afternoon.  So, what did we do?  We made up our own rules to fit the kid's level of interest.  It was a mercifully short game, pretty fun, and the six year old won  :)

One of my favorite comic strips is Bill Watterson's Calvin and Hobbes.  Calvin is an imaginative six year old with his stuffed tiger, Hobbes (who is alive in his world).  One of the recurring themes of the strip is Calvin and Hobbes playing "Calvinball", which boils down to making up their own rules to the games they play.    

"Other kids' games are all such a bore!
They've gotta have rules and they gotta keep score!
Calvinball is better by far!
It's never the same! It's always bizarre!
You don't need a team or a referee!
You know that it's great, 'cause it's named after me!"

—Part of the Calvinball theme song.

For some reason, when people play games, they think they need to "play by the rules".  Who says you have to do that?  Play however you want! Games get too complicated anyway.  Have fun!

Happy Thanksgiving

Too pooped to post today  :)   Happy Thanksgiving and may we always be thankful for the blessings we have in our lives and in our families.  Life is good.