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Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Want to cause a fight?

Want to cause a fight with your husband or child?  Just insert the word "always" or "never" in a sentence.  Those are probably two of the most toxic words in our vocabulary.  "You always leave your clothes on the floor!" "You never take out the trash."  How's a person supposed to respond to that kind of assault?  "You're right.  I've never picked up my clothes in my entire life.  How observant of you."  I don't think so.  He has his honor to defend.  And so the fight begins.  And the funny thing is that what started out as a fight concerning a pile of clothes escalates into a full blown dumping session about all your faults and weaknesses.  To think it all started with the word always.

It really is possible to get your point across without using either of those words.  Just being direct and stating your problem or concern will keep the discussion in the present where it belongs rather than in the past.  And try to avoid using sarcasm, exaggeration, and whining because those derail any productive conversation you might have.  Stick to the facts, Ma'am.


  1. Good perspective for the hubbies, too...

  2. Thank you for this one. These always drive me up the wall.