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Sunday, July 28, 2013

Losing your temper

My friend is a wonderful, loving mom.  She juggles work, child raising, volunteer work and just being an awesome person with apparent ease.  And then she called me because she (as she said) blew up at the kids.  They had been bickering and fighting and she'd just had enough!  She felt completely guilty and like a horrible mom for losing her temper.

I reassured her that she was ok, her kids were ok and she hadn't damaged their fragile psyches beyond repair.  Even the best, most calm mom has a breaking point.  Moms may be supermoms but they're people too and have limits.  Let's face it, kids can drive you crazy!

If you DO lose your temper, don't despair.  When you've calmed down, apologize to your child for yelling at him, simply and without long explanation or justification.  Try not to make a big deal out of it.  Most likely, your kids will accept your apology and that will be the end of it as far as they're concerned.

As for you, dear overwhelmed Mom, next time try to recognize when you're experiencing that overwhelmed, out-of-control feeling.  Excuse yourself from your kids (if you can) or put them in their rooms or in their crib or someplace safe and tell them that you need a few minutes to yourself.   Take a deep breath and wait until you can deal with your children with calmness and self control.

They'll appreciate it and you'll feel better.


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