Who are you?

You're not just a mother...

Who are you?  To your children, you are their mother.  But your identity is not only that of a mother.  You might also be a wife, daughter, sister, niece, granddaughter, cousin, friend.  In your quest to be the best mother possible, don't forget those other roles.  Yes, your children need you and depend on you for their upbringing and loving care and it is your responsibility and yours alone to be the mother to your children but to be a balanced person, you can't neglect the other roles that are yours.  It can be so easy to put aside the relationships you have with your husband, other family members and even yourself as you focus all your energy on your children.  But that's not best for them or you.  You will be a happier person, a better wife and mother and a more rounded individual if you make time for the other things that are important in your life. 

Make time for humor

There are so many challenges and difficulties in our everyday lives that we sometimes forget the healing power of humor and laughter.  Studies have repeatedly shown that humor can lower blood pressure, improve our mood and even our overall health.   A well placed comment can defuse a tense situation.   A funny movie can help you forget your troubles.  A family joke can bring unity to a family.

So, how are things around your house?  Can you find things to laugh about?  Babies and little kids are naturally funny.  Listen to them and watch them for a while.  It's hard NOT to smile when observing their interactions. Older children are silly and goofy.  And teenagers?  Don't tell them but a lot of what they do is hilarious!  :) 

I asked my kids about funny things that they remembered in our family.  They all started laughing and telling me stories.  Most would lose much in the translation though. As one said, "Things that were funny at the time don't sound so funny when repeated."  She's right.  So, I'm not going to embarrass any of my family with our stories.  Well, maybe just one...like the time when the girls "decorated" the boy's room with all sorts of girly stuff.  The boys were not amused but the girls thought it was funny. :)


There is plenty to be serious about but don't forget to take time to laugh a little (especially at yourself!) and enjoy the good times with your family. 

Thrifty Thursday - Nothing is as easy as it seems

It should have been a quick and easy project.  We are moving our pellet stove insert downstairs into the family room fireplace opening.  Unfortunately, the fireplace has no hearth (don't ask me why!) and to comply with building codes, it must have a hearth.  No problem, right?  A simple box frame, a few layers of cement board with some tiles on top, and it's done!  Hah!  It never works that way.

We have to have a hearth to put the pellet stove on...

We came up with a design and figured out the measurements exactly.  The hearth had to extend at least 6 inches beyond the front of the pellet stove.  We decided on 16 inch tiles, requiring 3 tiles to span the length of the hearth.  My husband measured the wood for the frame, cut it perfectly and screwed it together.  Then we measured the cement board, cut it carefully and screwed the layers together and attached them to the frame.  Then we set the tiles on top to see how it would fit.  It looked great!

Then my husband casually asked me how far the pellet stove extended beyond the fireplace opening.  Uhhhhh, I didn't think that was an issue.  It didn't seem to stick out very far upstairs.  I ran and got a tape measure and quietly prayed that it wasn't any more than 10 inches.  I held my breath and measured....12 inches.  Oh no!  Our beautiful hearth was going to be 2 inches off.  My husband kept his cool admirably and said he thought he could make an extension on the frame but we'd need to get 18 inch tiles.  Ok.  Not too bad but that will add time to the project.

Yeah sure...just score and snap. 

Next day, (today) my husband remade the frame.  I went to the local Home Depot and bought 3 new 18 inch tiles and returned the 16 inch tiles.  Now it was time to cut two of the tiles so they would fit in the space.  The guy at Home Depot said it would be no problem to cut the tiles.  Just score and snap off.  We could do that, right?  Wrong.  The tile broke.  Can we rent a tile saw?  Too expensive.   "Let's check Lowes", said my dear husband.  So off to Lowes.  There the nice sales clerk told us that he would be glad to cut our two tiles for free if we bought them at Lowes.  We picked out three new tiles (our third set of tiles!) and had the nice man cut them with his power saw.  Beautiful.

Now to dry for 24 hours...

We brought home our three tiles and in 15 minutes, I had them mortared to the cement board, all ready to dry for the next 24 hours.



Maybe eventually we'll get this finished.  I think the worst part is over now.  Updates next week.  Wish us luck!

What's cooking? Wednesday - Sugared Popcorn

My mom's sugared popcorn

This stuff is heavenly!  My mommy used to make it for Halloween, her mommy used to make it and now I'm passing it down to you.  I just gave a bowlful of it to my daughter and she took a taste, her eyes opened wide and she said,"What IS this? It's Great!"  So, there's an unsolicited testimonial as well  :)

Sugared Popcorn
2 packages microwave popcorn, popped  (This is the only variation to my mom's original recipe...they didn't have microwave ovens back in the old days  :))
1 c. sugar
3 T. water
1 T. butter

Put popped popcorn into large bowl.  Don't just empty the package into the bowl - you'll get unpopped kernels and they're bad for your teeth!  Scoop out the popcorn with your hands.
Combine the sugar, water and butter in saucepan.  Bring to boil over medium high heat.  When it comes to a boil, turn heat down to medium and boil for 5 minutes.  You don't have to stir it or anything.  Just make sure it stays at a rolling boil.  After 5 minutes, stir into large bowl of popped popcorn.  Keep stirring until the sugar solution is all incorporated into the popcorn.

Boil the sugar mixture for 5 minutes

What I like most about this popcorn is that it isn't sticky, gooey or messy.  It just gives a subtle sugary taste to the salty popcorn.  Delicious!

Tidy Tuesday - A learned Skill

If you thought you were doomed to keeping a messy house because you just aren't the organizing kind, there's hope for you!  Organizing isn't an inborn talent, it's a learned skill.  Isn't that nice to know?  :)

So, are you ready to learn a new skill?  Let's compare learning how to get organized with learning how to ride a bike.  Riding a bike looked pretty easy didn't it?  That is, until you actually got on that wobbly two wheeled contraption!  Getting organized looks like a piece of cake too...until you are surrounded with stuff and realize you have no idea where to start.

Why did you get back on that bike?  Determination, a bit of courage and you could just picture yourself riding down the street, your hair streaming behind you, the wind in your face.  That was your motivation.  Why are you trying to get organized?  Can you picture your home, neat and clean and a welcome place for your family and friends?  Are you determined?  Are you ready to make it happen?

When you got that shiny new bicycle, did your dad or sister or someone else help you, hold the bike steady and give you tips on staying on the bike?  Have you asked a trusted friend to help you get organized or give you ideas on how to do it?   Someone who has learned the skill you are trying to learn is an excellent source of helpful advice.

Did you fall off your bike?  Did you get back on?  How many times?  Learning something new means practice and persistence.  Have you tried to get organized?  Did you try again?  What did you do differently?

 Learning a new skill doesn't happen overnight.  It requires determination, persistence and practice.   Getting organized is an ongoing learning process that will evolve as you master new techniques.  The time to start is now and the place to start is in your home.  Visualize what you want to accomplish, make a plan, stick to it, ask for help and don't quit.  Just like you learned how to ride a bike, you can learn how to be organized.  Give yourself a chance  :)

Help! My kid doesn't care about homework!

You have a smart child in elementary school but he just doesn't seem to care about doing homework.  No matter what you do or threaten, he dawdles, does a sloppy job, forgets his work and makes your life miserable.  If you could just get it into his head that school is important for his future, you know he'd take interest in his schoolwork, and life would be more pleasant for you, him and the rest of the family.

Let's think this through together.  Does he have a learning disability or other medical condition that makes it hard to concentrate?  Have you talked with his teacher to get suggestions for getting him to fulfill his assignments?  Does he have a designated study place at home?  Does he know the consequences of not completing his work?

Often the best time to do homework is right after school, before he gets busy with friends and activities.  Get him a snack, ask him about his day, have him go to the bathroom and change his clothes.  Set him up at his work place, set a time to complete the assignment, and stay close to monitor his progress and answer questions.  You can use this time to do paperwork of your own (budget, bills, writing etc).  When his time is up, calmly go over his work with him and either dismiss him to go play or hand out the consequence of not finishing.  No arguing, no pleading, no threatening, no deal-making.  Just a disappointed mom following through.  And DO follow through, even if he has soccer practice, a birthday party to go to, a Scout activity, whatever.  It shouldn't take too many times of missing something fun for him to realize that you mean business.

If you don't want this issue to turn into a power struggle between you and your son, you'll do your best to stay calm and matter-of-fact when dealing with the situation.  The fact is you cannot make your child care...about schoolwork or anything.  You can provide an atmosphere of learning and support but he is the one who has to do the work.  You can set expectations and then follow through with appropriate consequences...consistently!  Then he has the opportunity to choose...to complete his work in a timely manner or risk losing privileges and activities when he fails to meet the expectations of you and his teacher.   It's up to him.  You've done your part.

The best of both worlds

A funny thing happens when two people get married.  You combine a man with a unique background and traditions with a woman who has her own set of traditions and values and try to put them together to make a new family unit.  Conflicts can show up fairly quickly, even before the marriage.  You want things one way and he wants them another.  Your family did things this way and his did things that way.  When traditions are questioned, it's as if your whole upbringing is being questioned.  The fact of the matter is that there can be more than one way to do things right.  His way worked for his family.  Your way worked for yours.  How can you resolve this?

Well, for one thing, build on the successes of the families you both grew up in.  Identify what worked well for them.  Talk with your parents.  Do the same with your husband's family.  Ask them what they felt were their successes.  Ask them how their traditions got started.  You might be surprised.  If you understood how a particular tradition of your husbands came about, you might understand his insistence that it be continued in your new little family.  And he might find out about where you are coming from when YOU want things a certain way.  Then ask both families what they would do differently.  Hindsight can be a valuable lesson for the next generation.  You can learn from their experiences, both successes and failures.

Sometimes compromise is what you both have to do to keep the peace.  That means neither is completely happy with the outcome but maybe that dissatisfaction will be short-lived.  A compromise might be the beginning of some new tradition that becomes a part of what defines your family.  Or then again, maybe not  :)  The good thing about making a decision is that if it doesn't work out, you can try something different next time.

A family is all about learning and growing.  Incorporate the best of your childhood families, add to them and create your own loving, strong and successful family.