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Monday, October 29, 2012

Help! My kid doesn't care about homework!

You have a smart child in elementary school but he just doesn't seem to care about doing homework.  No matter what you do or threaten, he dawdles, does a sloppy job, forgets his work and makes your life miserable.  If you could just get it into his head that school is important for his future, you know he'd take interest in his schoolwork, and life would be more pleasant for you, him and the rest of the family.

Let's think this through together.  Does he have a learning disability or other medical condition that makes it hard to concentrate?  Have you talked with his teacher to get suggestions for getting him to fulfill his assignments?  Does he have a designated study place at home?  Does he know the consequences of not completing his work?

Often the best time to do homework is right after school, before he gets busy with friends and activities.  Get him a snack, ask him about his day, have him go to the bathroom and change his clothes.  Set him up at his work place, set a time to complete the assignment, and stay close to monitor his progress and answer questions.  You can use this time to do paperwork of your own (budget, bills, writing etc).  When his time is up, calmly go over his work with him and either dismiss him to go play or hand out the consequence of not finishing.  No arguing, no pleading, no threatening, no deal-making.  Just a disappointed mom following through.  And DO follow through, even if he has soccer practice, a birthday party to go to, a Scout activity, whatever.  It shouldn't take too many times of missing something fun for him to realize that you mean business.

If you don't want this issue to turn into a power struggle between you and your son, you'll do your best to stay calm and matter-of-fact when dealing with the situation.  The fact is you cannot make your child care...about schoolwork or anything.  You can provide an atmosphere of learning and support but he is the one who has to do the work.  You can set expectations and then follow through with appropriate consequences...consistently!  Then he has the opportunity to choose...to complete his work in a timely manner or risk losing privileges and activities when he fails to meet the expectations of you and his teacher.   It's up to him.  You've done your part.








4 comments:

  1. I remember my dad being so frustrated with me not wanting to do my arithmetic homework, because my best friend next door was outside playing, waiting for me. He forced the issue. I ended up getting good grades, which became motivating, and even got into honors math. His frustrated patience with my childish priorities paid off. ;-)

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    1. Good for your dad! It probably would have been easier for him to just let you go out and play but he knew it wasn't the best thing for you in the long run. And because of him, you can count!

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  2. Glad to know there is hope, Eileen! Sometimes I wonder...

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    1. I think we all wonder sometimes but have faith...

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