Divide and Conquer

You'd think that the more kids you have, the easier it gets.  Well, that tends to be true with the exception of baby number three.  The first baby does change your life forever but one baby is pretty portable.  You can take her just about anywhere and fit her into most of your plans.  With two, you've gotten the hang of how to take care of a baby and your life doesn't change drastically.  Enter baby number three.  All of a sudden, you're outnumbered...two adults and three children!  If you have your children close together (as I did), you could be trying to juggle three kids under the age of four.  This takes some creativity and daring if you ever want to leave your house.  I had a double stroller but that was cumbersome.  What I really liked was a baby front carrier and then later a baby backpack.  With an extra hand free again, I could navigate stores and other public places without going crazy. What made me think of this?  Last week I watched three of my grandchildren in a church lobby while their parents were in a meeting.  The oldest is not yet four, the next is two and the baby is two months old.  The baby started crying and the older two immediately decided that "divide and conquer" was the way to have a good time.  They looked at each other and took off in opposite directions, squealing at the top of their lungs.  And the baby cried.  And I was trying to keep them quiet because we were at a church.  Memories came rushing back as I tried to gather two kids (who went limp when I took their hand) and calm the crying baby.  I felt immediate sympathy and admiration for my son and daughter-in-law.  But, things do get better.   It isn't long before the kids grow into their new roles and you find ways to cope....just in time for baby number four!

I don't think so...

Today I read a plaque on Pinterest which said, "Good moms have sticky floors, messy kitchens, laundry piles, dirty ovens, and happy kids."   Hmmmm...I do believe I disagree with the sentiment.  In fact, the idea that dirty homes produce happy kids sounds absolutely absurd!  I don't think it's an either/or decision.  It's possible to have both a clean house and happy kids. Don't obsess but don't be lazy either!

Bedtime!

Just as naptime is vital for your sanity, an early bedtime for your kids is in the best interests of your marriage.  We had a bedtime of 7 pm for preschoolers and younger, 8 pm for elementary age children and 9 pm for older school kids.  As with naptime, demanding that the kids go right to sleep isn't the goal here...it's giving Mom and Dad time to spend time together.  Our kids often spent an hour or so reading quietly in their beds before falling asleep, although there are other things kids can quietly do (that doesn't get them into trouble!).  They don't need to be constantly entertained by Mommy and Daddy.  I know there are work schedules where this wouldn't work, but it worked in our situation.  We had time to have dinner together as a family, read scriptures together, and still have an hour or more to play with them, or help with homework, or watch a movie, and get them settled for the night.  Then the rest of the night was ours.

Home Sweet Home

You may have noticed a few recent posts on the home environment.  That's because our homes provide the foundation for a peaceful, happy family.  If there is chaos all around, it's easy to become stressed and feel out of control.  Also, our homes reflect who we are and what we represent.  Do we care enough about our family to provide a neat and safe place to live?  Are we too busy to take care of the basic needs of our family?  Try a little experiment.  Before you go to bed, take ten minutes and pick up the clutter in the living room and clean the kitchen.  How do you feel the next morning?  Do you feel like you're already behind or do you feel caught up and ready to tackle the day?  Often it just takes a few minutes to tidy and straighten a room.  And those few minutes make a huge difference!  If we want our homes to be a refuge from the stresses of the world, we need to make a conscious effort to make that happen.

Safety Time!

Another post about home environment...this time about safety!  I don't think anyone would intentionally provide an unsafe environment for their children but it's amazing how resourceful, curious, and innocent kids can be.  Here are some examples - Four year old son removed the safety cover over the electrical outlet and  put screwdriver in. (He never did that again!)  Nine year old daughter fell out of bunkbed and broke nose.  (Sissy bar installed the next day!)  Six month old son got tangled in mini-blind cord while in crib. (moved crib immediately and never let mini-blind cords hang down again)  Granddaughter climbed out of second story window. (Family moved furniture and installed lock on window.)  These are just the first things that came into my mind too.  Most kids don't get through childhood without at least a few stitches or broken bones or other relatively minor injuries.  We can't protect our kids from everything but we should be responsible and look around our home and see if there's anything that we can do to avoid unnecessary accidents.  However, I don't think anything could have prevented my four year old daughter from her broken leg experience.  She had been watching the Olympics on TV and really wanted to do a triple-axel, like the figure skaters.  She tried it by wildly jumping off her bed, landing on a shoe on the floor, and breaking her leg.  No matter how hard we try, some things just happen...

A Practical Place

Someone who I greatly respect told me several years ago that I should make my home a practical place. These were wise words, which I remembered often as I outfitted our home.  If you consider that the most important people who enter your home are your husband and children, it makes sense to make that place as well designed, as comfortable and as welcoming as possible.  I had a friend who redecorated her home and she chose white carpeting and white furniture for her new living space.  She had two rambunctious little girls, a dog, and a cat and it wasn't a week before that carpet was showing dirt and other stains.  She spent far more time worrying about that carpet and furniture and getting mad at her daughters than enjoying the results of her hard work and money.  Another friend liked to display fragile glass figurines and was constantly worried that her kids were going to knock something over.  Why not design your home for the stage in life where your family currently is at?  The white carpeting and fragile knick knacks can wait.  You can still have an attractive home that reflects what is most important in your life...namely, your family.

Oops!

Because we're all human, we're going to make mistakes.  Parenting is a learning experience not only for our children but for ourselves as well.  Almost every day we are faced with decisions and sometimes, we realize that we might have done things differently.  That's perfectly ok.  In fact, the important thing is not necessarily making a mistake but recognizing it and learning from it and doing it differently the next time (and believe me, there WILL be a next time!)  It's ok to admit you made a mistake and it's ok to say I'm sorry to your kids and or husband.  Try the best you can with the resources and information you have and learn as you go along.