Just as naptime is vital for your sanity, an early bedtime for your kids is in the best interests of your marriage. We had a bedtime of 7 pm for preschoolers and younger, 8 pm for elementary age children and 9 pm for older school kids. As with naptime, demanding that the kids go right to sleep isn't the goal here...it's giving Mom and Dad time to spend time together. Our kids often spent an hour or so reading quietly in their beds before falling asleep, although there are other things kids can quietly do (that doesn't get them into trouble!). They don't need to be constantly entertained by Mommy and Daddy. I know there are work schedules where this wouldn't work, but it worked in our situation. We had time to have dinner together as a family, read scriptures together, and still have an hour or more to play with them, or help with homework, or watch a movie, and get them settled for the night. Then the rest of the night was ours.
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