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Monday, December 10, 2012

Yearning for home

I grew up surrounded by grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and various other family members.  Everyone from both sides of the family lived within about 40 miles from each other.  I guess I took it for granted, having big family gatherings and knowing that I was part of a large family group.  I always thought I'd grow up, get married and live close to my family.  It didn't happen.

I went away to school where I met my future husband and where we lived depended on where he got a job.  Going back home was reduced to hurried holiday visits where I felt more like a guest than family.   I spent many a year feeling sorry for myself during holidays, when I heard about family reunions that I couldn't attend, when I missed milestones, when someone was sick or when a loved one died.

But...this is not a pity post.  For many women, part of growing up is learning how to enjoy where you live, wherever it may be.  If you have a husband and children, your home is with them first.  You have a responsibility to make that home a place of love and peace.  You have a responsibility to make the best of your circumstances.  It won't help to complain to your husband or make him feel bad for the choice that was made.  What the husband and kids need is a supportive wife and mother who isn't sitting around feeling sorry for herself and making everyone miserable because she isn't where she wants to be.

Maybe we should be thankful that we don't live when pioneers left their families for a new land and never saw them again.  At least we have the technology that allows us to be part of far-away family even from hundreds of miles away.  Little consolation sometimes, I know, but it's better than nothing.

Also, did you ever think that maybe you live where you live because there are things for you to learn that you couldn't learn elsewhere and experiences for you to have?  Sometimes we just don't know what opportunities are waiting for us when we step out of our comfort zone, have courage, and take a chance on something new.

Do I still miss my family?  Of course I do, especially this time of year.  But that's ok...


  1. Tender subject so well addressed.

  2. I never knew you missed me when I got married and moved away from home. I never thought anyone missed me. We just made our own family traditions with our own little family. I did miss Christmas with Grandma Hayes and the cousins and our family but after Dad got sick, we didn't do much of that anymore. A lot changed when I was growing up and I miss what our family once was. I miss being close to you and your family. Your family is a lot of fun!


    1. Those were hard times and I missed you! Some of my fondest memories were of visiting with you and Fred and getting to be a part of your family! I still love being with your family and wish we lived closer...