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Friday, February 28, 2014

Worth fighting for

I try to keep my posts upbeat and positive but today I am writing about something that makes me sad.  Two people, with whom I am very close, are considering divorce and I wish there was something I could do to stop it. 

Both are intelligent, caring people, and good parents.  They have so much going for them but are ready to give up. They won't consider counseling.  Separately they each express a desire for their marriage to work.  What I want to do is get the two of them together and ask them straight out, "What do you want?  Do you want to keep your family?"  "If you do, what are you willing to do to make it work?  What changes are YOU willing to make?" 

To keep a marriage strong and healthy, each person HAS to consider the wants and needs of their spouse.  Focusing on what they're NOT getting or what their spouse isn't doing isn't going to rebuild the relationship.  A wise person once said that divorce is spelled S-E-L-F-I-S-H-N-E-S-S.  Two people working separately might make a marriage work but two people working together are more likely to achieve an unbreakable bond that will survive whatever challenge they are faced with. 

Marriage isn't easy.  It's hard work.  And it's constant work.  But it's worth fighting for...especially when there are children involved.  Being mature and acting responsibly is a lot harder than giving in to impulsive words and actions but that's what being an adult (and a spouse and a parent) are all about.  Our time to be children and act in childish ways are past.  It's now our turn to be the adults.  It might be hard but it also provides us with our greatest joy and happiness.

I don't know what will happen with my dear friends but I know I will be supportive and pray for the best resolution for them and their children.


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