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Saturday, May 12, 2012

Consequences - Part 1

A while ago, I wrote about time-out as a way of disciplining young children.  But, what about the older ones?  It looks a little silly seeing a ten or thirteen year old in time-out and it just doesn't have the same impact on him either.  Probably the most effective kind of consequence for misbehavior is a natural consequence.  Unless there is a potential safety issue for him or anyone around him, letting him experience the result of his actions will teach him more powerfully than anything you can come up with.  The hardest part for moms is not stepping in and fixing things (we're moms after all - we like to fix things and we don't like to see our kids suffer).  But, lessons do need to be learned and we need to let our kids learn them.

Some examples - She forgot her lunch.  Oh well.  She won't starve for one afternoon.  He slept through his alarm.  Too bad.  Missing something once isn't the end of the world.  You told them to bring in their toys from the front yard.  Now they're gone.  Someone took them.  Sad.  She waited until the last minute to study for a test...and didn't do well on it.  That's what happens.

I'm not heartless but some things just need to be experienced to make an impact on a person.  Don't prevent that from happening.  Oh, and again, if your child is in a position where he could be in danger, you've got to use another approach!

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