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Monday, June 4, 2012


When I was growing up, my mother had a policy that she would never promise us kids anything.  I asked her about it several years ago and she told me that promises are too easily broken (for a variety of reasons) and so she just didn't make any.  That made sense.  Being true to her word was more important.  Instead of promising things, she'd surprise us with fun trips or activities.  I remember at least twice a year she'd wake us up in the morning and tell us that we were taking a day off school and going to Disneyland.  I loved those times!

I continued my mom's policy with my own children.  Building a relationship of trust is one of the most valuable gifts we can give our children.  They should be able to depend on us and the things we say.  Besides, who wants to hear, "But Mom, you promised!"


  1. This is one lesson that I have been working hard on. The kids try to pin me down and get me to commit to things they want from me. I have been telling them that I make no promises because when things don't go the way they want, I never hear the end of it! It is so hard because you can never be sure of what is coming next...

  2. That's why it's best not to make promises...because you can never be sure what is coming next. It sounds like you are doing just that!

  3. I think the same principle applies to marriage regarding work that needs to be done, i.e. tasks. I think it is best to simply agree on projects that need doing and then agree on who will do what and when. Each partner should be able to trust the other without the words, "I promise".

  4. I completely agree with you! Isn't it interesting that many of the parenting ideas intended for kids can also work with husbands?

  5. Actually, Mom and Dad, never told us where we were going when they did the surprise outings..They just said get ready and we went and tried to guess where we were going. That way, if they changed their mind halfway there, we would never know about it.

    1. I do believe you're right! Those were fun times...