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Friday, July 13, 2012

Girls need their moms to be moms

Some moms think that the only way they can develop a good relationship with their teenage daughters is to dress and act like one too.  I'm sure you've seen them at the mall and at school functions...they're the women in their late 30's or 40's (or heaven forbid, older) who look glaringly out of place in their outfits from Aeropostale or Hollister, who are hanging around with a group of teenagers (hopefully one of them is their daughter!).

Here's a news flash - Girls need their moms to be moms first.  They have enough friends but they only have one mom, and that's you.  Of course, you should keep up with what your daughter and her friends are wearing, listening to, reading and doing but as a bystander, not an active participant! 

If you take on the role of best friend, who does that leave to provide the stability, security, guidance and discipline for your children?  Your husband?  That's not really fair.  Your daughter?  That's just not right either.  It's your job to provide those things for your daughters and sons too.

That's not to say that you have to dress like a frumpy old lady but remember that you have left the teenage years behind and it's someone else's turn to be the kid.  You can still dress up to date and trendy if you want but please stay away from your daughter's clothes!

You don't need to act like a teenager to relate to one.

7 comments:

  1. Amen to that! One thing of note is that friends are a temporary thing but Mom's are forever so being your kids' friend shouldn't be too appealing in the long run. :-)

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    1. Yeah, I don't want to be temporary! :)

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  2. Good point. I always wondered a bit about the person I used to work with whose nickname for her daughter was "Sissy" (short for sister). They did look alike but it WAS kind of creepy the way they dressed alike, hung out with Sissy's friends, and so on. I liked her okay but we didn't have anything in common to talk about; everybody else felt the same. I guess the mom passed up on having her own friends. Sort of sad.

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    1. Really sad because someday Sissy is going to leave the nest and I doubt she'll want to take Mom along.

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  4. I think sometimes parents are trying to relive their youth through their kids. It is sad, and thank you for putting this in print. The more we say it, hopefully someone will rethink it.

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