Ads 468x60px

Monday, July 9, 2012

Parenting styles

One of the beauties of child rearing is that there is not one set way of doing it.  What works great for you and your family might be totally different from your neighbor's way of doing things but as long as you are both raising well adjusted, healthy children, then both ways are the right ways.  When you consider all the different combinations of personalities we have, it only makes sense that there should be an equally large variety of parenting styles.

When I was raising my children, there was a very popular parenting book that many of my friends were reading and applying the principles to their families.  I read the book and couldn't relate to the author's style nor her ideas.   She often related stories about trips to Europe and Mexico with the children and the adventures they had at their mountain retreat.  Her idea of teenage problems included what kind of car to buy her 16 year old.  I just could not relate to that!  Our big adventures involved car trips to the nearby beaches and local attractions.  As for cars for 16 year olds, I didn't even want the kids to be driving at that age, let alone having their own car!  So, I gave that book to a grateful neighbor and watched as my friends first struggled with implementing the suggestions this author gave, even though they didn't have the resources to do it, and then going back to what worked for them.

My family is definitely unique!
As I've said before, there are a few key principles that all parents need to teach their children, but the way they teach them is an individual family matter.  Don't think that because you don't have unlimited resources that you are at a disadvantage.  Personally, I think kids do better when they don't have unlimited resources.  Your family is unique.  Do the best you can with what you can.


  1. What a great photo! Remember how our parents' generation relied on Dr. Spock's Baby Book, and then when we were in college he ended up apologizing for things he advocated originally that worked well with his own kids but not his grandkids? As you say, each family is different. And I would add, each is being raised in a different historical moment with different options and pressures. I just found this article about Dr. Spock's original and revised editions. It lets you guess if certain passages are from the current version or the 1946 version. Very interesting!

  2. I really enjoyed the article! Sometimes the past is judged by current standards yet our parents, grandparents, and so on, did their best with what they had.