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Monday, October 1, 2012

(Mom's) Separation Anxiety

When you hear someone talking about separation anxiety, it's usually referring to a baby or child.  Rarely is it acknowledged that moms can feel a form of separation anxiety too when faced with leaving their child.  It doesn't matter if it's a new mom afraid of leaving her newborn baby, or a mom waving good-bye to her kindergartener, or the mom going back to work, or the seasoned mom watching her adult child going off to college or getting married.  There are always twinges of sadness and loss as you watch your child growing one step closer to independence and adulthood.  It isn't uncommon to hear the mother's lament, "My baby is growing up!"  I don't think moms ever stop worrying about their children.  sigh...

There are things you can do to lessen the impact of separation issues.  You have to stay busy.  Fill your newly available time with good things.  This might be a great time to begin that project you've been putting off for a long time.  You can volunteer in the community.  You can go back to school.  When my youngest went off the college last January, I took up blogging  :)

Talk with other mothers going through the same thing.  Never underestimate the value and wisdom of those who have experienced (or are currently experiencing) what you are going through.  Just knowing that you aren't the only one is a great comfort.

And, whatever else you do, don't make your child feel guilty for growing up or having his or her own adventures without you!  Don't hold him back!  Be happy and supportive for him.  Encourage her and help her feel confident as she embarks on new experiences.  Remember, he or she is probably also feeling some separation anxiety too.  


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