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Tuesday, April 3, 2012

The dreaded in-laws!

Ah yes, the dreaded in-laws!  Actually, I hope you have a wonderful relationship with all of your husband's family.  If not, you are not alone.

I did not get off to a good start with my in-laws.  I was quiet and shy.  They were loud and outgoing. I was intimidated.  The more intimidated I felt, the more I withdrew.  The more I withdrew, the less they got to know me and I them.  This led to misconceptions on both our parts.  As I think about it, if I had to do it over again, I'd do things different.  I'd keep foremost in my mind that they are good people who raised my husband and helped make him the man I fell in love with.  They were only concerned for his welfare, just as my mother was concerned for mine.  Just because they did things different, doesn't mean they did things wrong.  They were going through their own challenges and struggles and doing the best they could.

Maybe you can learn from my mistakes.  Accept that they are different.  Look for good things they did that you can implement in your own family.  Don't withdraw!  If you are intimidated, share that with your husband and enlist his help and ask for suggestions but try not to criticize.  You don't want to put him in the middle of a conflict between you and them.  Find some common ground, some interest or hobby that is shared.  The biggest thing in common that you have with them is your husband/their son.  That is enough reason to try to make things work.  Good luck!


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