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Wednesday, April 11, 2012


There's a place for labels - on the outside of a can.  If the label reads Pineapple, you can be pretty sure it has pineapple inside.  No surprises there.  Where labels don't belong is on children.  Think of some of the labels that are commonly put on children...stupid, lazy, bad, naughty, hyperactive, dumb or even the positive ones like pretty, smart, artistic, athletic.  Do these labels represent the whole child?  Of course not!  A child is not like a can of pineapple, made up of only one ingredient or trait.  A child is made up of many unique and special qualities and to put a label on him is to do him a great injustice.

If a child is told he's stupid, he might begin to think that he is stupid.  If she's told she's bad, she might think she's bad.  How sad is that?  If she's told she's the pretty one, does that change the way she looks at herself or others?   Does that help her to develop her potential or to narrow it?  If at all possible, it's best to avoid labels altogether.

Try instead to focus on behavior or accomplishments....just please don't call your child a bad girl or dumb kid or some other negative name.  It really hurts!


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. The thing I've heard in regards to punishment and other such things is to focus on the behavior, not on the child. (i.e., "What you did was bad behavior," not "You're a bad boy/girl"...)

  3. That's exactly right David! Good boy! :)

    What was the deleted comment?

  4. Dear MomCoach, Shouldn't that be, "Good comment, David!" rather than "Good boy!"? ;-) Just teasing.

  5. You noticed! You were very observant Eileen!