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Monday, August 20, 2012

Comparing kids

I think it's only natural to start comparing kids from the moment you realize you're pregnant for the second time.  "I gained more weight with this one."  "The baby was more active last time."  This continues into babyhood and beyond.  Only one problem...while comparing circumstances is ok, comparing kids isn't.  Because no two children are alike (even identical twins) and there's birth order and family circumstances to consider too, you are doing your children a disservice by comparing them. I don't even think we're aware that we're doing it sometimes.  I know it's hard to do but try to stop yourself from using your children to prove a point.  "Your brother never did that!"  "Sister was reading chapter books by now."  It may be true but it doesn't help your child's relationship with that sibling he's being compared with nor does it help build his confidence in his own abilities.  Do you really want your son resenting his sister?  Of course not!  Yet, that's exactly what can happen when one sibling seems to be looked upon favorably and another less so. 

For the sake of building relationships between siblings,  try not to compare them with each other (or any other child).   It's hard enough for them to get along!


  1. You are really hitting some problem solving topics that can make such a difference. Comparing children could be a problem for grandparents as well. Thank you for your continued wisdom.

  2. A-MEN!!! Unless measuring personal growth, comparisons never are good!