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Sunday, August 12, 2012

You have control

At one point or another, each of us gets our feelings hurt.  Someone says or does something and we take offense to it.  What happens next is up to us.  We have no control over what others say or do but we have total control over our response to it.

Being human, often our first reaction is to retaliate.  We want to hurt the other person like they hurt us so we lash out with hurtful words of our own or whip off a nasty letter.  I don't suggest either of those two methods.  It will do no good to hurt another person, regardless of how they treat you.

Might I suggest the following - Before responding to offense, step back and give yourself time to process the event.  You don't have to respond immediately.  In fact, you shouldn't respond immediately!  Ask yourself if there is any truth to what the other person said.  Sometimes it hurts to hear the truth.  Even if there is no truth to the accusations, can you see their point of view, even a little?  It's hard to put yourself in another's shoes but sometimes that is enough to understand where they're coming from.  Please don't write a letter or email in the heat of anger or frustration and send it.  You can never take it back.  Don't think yourself above apologizing either.  Most instances of offense happen because of misunderstandings or things out of your control.

Sometimes,  the only thing you can do is put it aside and move on.  That isn't the same as ignoring it or forgetting about it.  It's just recognizing that there isn't anything else you can do.  As long as you've done your best to repair any hurt, you don't have to worry about the rest.


  1. we talk about this many times in our house...we rarely have control over what other people say or do..but we always have control over how react...

    1. And we have to keep on saying it...hopefully, someday it will sink in :) Thanks Annmarie!